Gym in January

I walked in the gym today with a little smile on my face wondering what new people I'd see today. I started my routine back up last week when we got home. It's tough, but(t) I gotta do it. I know that January is the BIG push for losing weight... commercials, diet pills, excercise crap everywhere... If I see another commercial with Kristy Alley on it I'm going to scream. So last week it started... watching all the "newbies" in their in workout attire, new sneakers, new attitude, trying to figure out all the machines. At first I found myself getting a little frustrated when I had to wait for them on a machine cause they couldn't figure it out, but then I realized, "hey quit being a jerk, you were once in their shoes."
Last week I watched lots of "newbies".. I love watching the older ones. They are really cute. I watched an older couple walk the track together, I watched a young college kid run like he was being chased by a man with a gun, I watched two ladies workout together, and I wished I had Laura, sitting next to me so we could complain about our fat rolls together.
Yesterday I was entertained by two women in the weight room. They were both complaining about the machines. One was working out on an arm machine and was yelling to the other across the room "I can't get this damn thing to work. It keeps squashing my boobs!!!" This however did not stop her, she worked away and gave a little squeal everytime it pinched her boobs. Her friend was working on the "thigh" machine and got stuck in it. She couldn't get out and after countless attempts she finally called her friend over to help her, however her friend replied "hold on I gotta get my boob back from this machine first." Man I was busting up inside.... Too funny.
So today I come in and my first laugh or puke... not sure which sensation I felt first was from a man on "MY" bike. I always ride a certain bike... just habit I guess. The only bike left was one behind his, and as soon as I reached it I could smell this guy... he smelled like 5 packs of cigarettes ,B.O. and cheap cologne, but that's not what got me. He was giving me a BIG vertical smile from behind:-)!! Not too pretty... I swear his entire bare butt was sitting on the bike. Didn't want to look but man couldn't miss it. Needless to say I didn't last on the bikes too long, and I probably won't be using that bike again.
The the winner so far was the man dressed in a full body black leotard with a fanny pack around is waist, and confederate flag gloves on. Yeah are you all getting a mental picture. I soooo wish I had a picture phone. I first noticed this man because he was in front of the mirror doing lunges/dance moves and saying "I look good" in a very girly voice... It took all I had not to burst out in laughter. A minute later I hear somebody singing Michael Jackson's "Thriller" at the top of his lungs...again in his girly voice. I couldn't hold it in this time... I lost it. I just home his head phones were turned up enough that he couldn't hear. me.
So here's to tomorrow and the "newbie" I'll meet... it's going to be pretty tough to beat Michael and his leotard... who knew I'd meet so many cool people in the Joplin YMCA!!!