My tongue hurts!!!

"If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all...", " Take the higher ground", " Just bite your tongue"

Man, gotta tell you, my tongue hurts!!!! I've had to bite my tongue HARD in the last couple of days and I'm sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. The true color of people comes shinning through during a time like this and unfortunately it hurts to find out what color some people bleed. I know we have some true friends here, I know the ones that are so happy for us that they are crying tears of joy for us and are just truly sad to see us go. To those people I want to say thank-you, we love you and we will miss you very much. Then there are the people that can't see past their own jealousy... the people that used to call you friends, but now spend most of the time putting us down, and trying to destroy our character... to those people I say...... well all I can do is bite my tongue.
We are trying to leave in the best way that we can. We are working hard to finish things up here, to stay positive, to help in any way that we can to make this transition easier but that is going unnoticed. AGHHHHH!
Ok so I'm just mad, I don't have a lot to say about it because I really am trying to let it go. What I can say is "Gil you're a better person than I am, because I know if I had to be in the battle field every day like you are I'd have already gotten fired." I know that we only have a short time left here so we can make it. I just pray that at some point, I'll be able to tell these "Men of God" how rude and hurtful and down right mean they have been and just to ask them if they really think that God is shinning through them? We are leaving to continue God's work... it just takes us to a new place. You'd think that they'd be happy, or at least supportive... Oh well I can only ask God to give us patience and to help us to keep our heads held high as we walk out the door, even if my tongue does hurt!!!

Flashback Memory

I was packing tonight, same thing I've been doing for the last two days. I'm ticked because I'm already tired of boxes, then I hear this belly laugh comming from the other room. I'm talking full blown belly laughter, ya know the kind that only a little child can do. I was already laughing as I rushed into the room to see what was so funny.
Carter is standing in front of the TV watching America's Funniest Home Video's. With every new clip Carter's laughter would get louder and harder. As I watched him a memory sliped into my mind.
I remember being a kid and every Friday night we would watch America's Funiest Home Video's as a family. I remember watching my Mom and Dad Laugh and my heart felt happy. Daddy would laugh in his big booming voice, and mommy would get so tickled that she would snort which would then make everybody laugh just a little bit harder. I remember how happy it made me to hear my parents laugh. Our family was full of laughter and fun times but this laughter was just a little different. Not quite sure what made it so special. Maybe it was just the Friday night ritual of Pizza and movies (after watching A.F.V.), or maybe it was just being with Family, but the memory brought back the same warm feeling in my heart.
So I sat down with Carter and we laughed together. During commercial breaks Carter would just look up at me and smile. I'm so excited to make these memories with him and hopefully it warmed his heart, like it used to do to mine, just to hear mommy laugh.

1 Tear Per Box

So today the packing began. I have 10 days to get everything done and to get the heck out of dodge! But I'm not complaining... God is Great and I'm so excited that the stress of selling our home is over!!
I remember packing up our home in Quincy. Tears streaming down my face with each box that I taped up. Almost having a breakdown while watching the movers pack everything that we owned into a big truck headed to Colorado. There was not a bone in my body that was excited to move, I was angry with God for taking me away from my family and all my friends. I had a six month old baby and was scared to death to be in a new city far from home. I cried for weeks before I left, and weeks after I left. Colorado was not my home and never would be my home.
Slowly Colorado grew on me. At first I just stopped hating it, then it was alright, then I kinda liked it, and then there came the point that I was happy here. 20 months ago I would've never believed that I'd actually like it here someday.
So when we found out we were moving I thought "ah this is a piece of cake, if I can move from my home town, then I can move from here with no problem." I even joked with Gil and told him I probably wouldn't even shed a tear. (Anybody that knows me can tell you that I cry at even the smallest thing!)
So today I start pulling out boxes. Luke (my dog) got very nervous, and Carter started running around the box yelling "bye-bye house", and I started to cry!!! I started to realize that this house holds so many memories of our family. Carter ate his first cheerio here, said his first words here, took his first steps here, took his first big fall here, turned into a little man here. I became a "stay home" mom here, learned to be away from family and friends here, went through my parents divorce trying so hard to be the support to each family member from here, grew a lot here and learned a ton of lessons... I can't even began to list all the memories that we have together as a family here. All in 20 short months and now I'm packing up and leaving again.
I leave knowing that I will take all of these memories with me and that I will make new ones in Missouri. I leave knowing I'm a changed person, that I've grown more in 20 months than I have in 25 years. May I always thank God for getting me out of my confort zone, and to a place where he could break me in half and build me up even taller than before. So a tear will go in every box as I pack up my life in Colorado and continue it in Missouri!

Spotless

My day is over, Carter is snug in his bed, Luke is snoring on the floor next to me, Gil is drooling all over his pillow(just kidding) and I'm still awake trying to unwind. I have been in a frenzy this week. A cleaning frenzy that is. My house is now officially on the market.Which means soon(hopefully very soon) we will be getting calls from people that want to walk through it. I have to keep it spotless! I've cleaned my bathrooms, all 4 of them 3 times this week. I've vaccumed 5 times and I've hand scrubed my kitchen floor twice. Frenzy?? I think that qualifies.
So here I am trying to unwind and thinking about what I've learned from my day today. Well let's see I've learned that Elmo diapers will never be in this house again, that it's time to take apart Carter's changing table because he's discovered how to climb up on it, and that I will never buy another lawn mower that doesn't bag the grass because grass clippings stick to dogs feet which create grass stains on the carpet.But there's something else that I'm not getting what is it????
Then I look around at my spotless house and it hits me. Why do I put so much work into my house but not much work into me? Why am I so crazy about keeping my house spotless for strangers to see, yet I only put about half that effort into keeping my mind and heart not even spotless, just clean for God?
If a stranger walks into my house tomorrow and sees dirt then fine, let them think of me what they want, yet if a stranger looks at my life and sees dirt what will they think of my God? So I head to bed tonight thinking of my life and the dirt that needs to be cleaned from my soul, the heart that needs to be scrubbed, the thoughts that need to be thrown in the trash, the whole body that needs to be spotless for such an Awesome God that I serve. Thank you God for the lessons you've taught me today.

"Doop Melmo mom!!"

Translation: "Poop On Elmo!"

Sometimes I question if I'm making the right choices for my son! I sometimes worry what kinds of food to give him, what toys are ok for him, or what he can watch on tv. Today Carter proved to me that I made the right decision about what diapers to buy him!! I feel sooo smart right now!
Carter is in LOVE with the Wiggles and Elmo! We talk about them all day long. When he first started his addiction with Elmo I remember thinking... Ah I should buy him the Elmo Diapers.... Then I immediately had pictures of him playing with his diapers, and taking them off just to be able to see Elmo.I made my choice to stick with the cheap diapers with no characters on them!
Today Carter and I went out to get the mail.. and there it was. A sample of an Elmo Diaper. Carter immediately opened it and wanted it on. I told him that he wasn't dirty so we had to wait. Literally 2 minutes later he walked up to me saying "Doop! Doop" aka:Poop! I could not believe it. On command he made himself poop so that he could wear his Elmo diaper... He's two how did he do that. So I had to keep my promise!
We put the Elmo diaper on and everything started.
First we had to take our shorts off cause we couldn't see Elmo.. then we had to take the diaper off cause we couldn't see Elmo over our fat belly. We put the diaper back on and ran around the back yard in just a diaper singing about Elmo..(don't ask me if I had my video camera, I'm so ticked) Then it happened.
Carter is running towards me with tears running down his face. "Doop Melmo Mom, Doop Melmo mom!!!" Carter had Pooped on Elmo and that meant no more Elmo. He cried all through the diaper change. We had a little funeral for Elmo, Crying as we tossed it in the trash.... 15 minutes later we both were over it and continued with our day.
Thank goodness I didn't buy the Elmo diapers. I can't imagine going through this ritual everytime we "Poop Melmo, Mom!"
I'm not doing so bad at this Mom thing!!:-)

Answered Prayers

I remember sitting on a park bench with this wonderful man dreaming of our future together. We were talking marriage, family, dreams, jobs.. everything you talk about when you are thinking about spending the rest of your lives together.
"What is your dream job? Where would you like to be in ten years"? I aksed him.
"Well, I don't see myself in youth ministry forever. I know that one day I will be ready to pass the torch and move on. I love kids and I love the mission field. I would love to work for CIY some day. That would be my dream job" he replied.
I wasn't sure I was ready to marry a minister, but I sure as heck knew I was not ready to go into the missions field. I remember saying a prayer that night. A prayer that even 5 years later I was still saying. "Please God, blend our lives together in a way that only you can. Join our dreams together in a way that only you can see. I don't ever want to hold this man back from his dreams. I don't ever want to put a leash on his desire for missions. So please either give me the desire to be in the field, or give him a job that allows him to combine all his passions together.
Fast forward 5 years.... I did end up marrying that wonderful man. We are happily married with a beautiful little boy that keeps us laughing everyday, and a dog that puts up with more than I can imagine from that little stinker! Our family is great and I go to bed at night and thank God for my life. Yesterday our lives became even happier!
That little prayer that I started 5 years ago was answered. Gil's already told all the details.... I just want to praise God for an answered prayer. I want to thank him for the passion I see in my husbands eyes for his job. A passion that has always been there.... but that had gone dim in the last 2 years. God does awesome work and I'm so excited to see what he has in store for our family. Thank you God!

Me.... Blogging??

I've been a blog-reader for quite sometime, I never thought I'd become a blogger myself. Me... Blogging? What would I talk about? How many poopy diapers I changed that day? How many times I let the dog out, or kissed a boo-boo? Yeah right that would be real interesting. Hope this thing has spell check, I don't have time for a dictionary! Well we'll see how this goes, hopefully this won't be my last post, and maybe just maybe I'll be funnier than Gil!! Ya right! I just hope my stories about life won't cause Gil to loose any faithful readers because you know I'll tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!! Watch out Gil your secrets might get out!